Here goes:
So I wanted to share with ya’ll first and foremost a little about what God is teaching me in my life. As some of you may know the move home has been a bit of a struggle for me. I am in an area where there aren’t a lot of people around my age so I have really been struggling to find not only Christian community, but also just friends. I am a bit of an extravert so being alone so much with this process has been really draining for me, and also just feeling homesick for Vanderbilt. During much of the month of August I came down with laryngitis, which meant I was even more isolated than usual and also feeling more than a little behind in trying to get in contact with people. With all that going on I started to feel isolated from God, and feeling distant from him. This needless to say, with the whole Ministry Partner Development process, is not exactly the best place to be in. So the past few weeks I have been learning a lot about who God is and trusting in where he has me. Never before have I had to examine not only what it means to have faith, but who I am placing that faith in. These past few weeks have been about stepping back and looking at who God is and who he claims to be, and seeing that he is a God not only more than sufficient to meet all my needs, but treasuring who He is alone as enough.
Most of you are probably familiar with Matthew 6:21 which says, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. We often hear this verse taught in relation to finances and materialism (don’t panic and stop reading….that’s not where this is going), but God has really been speaking to me about viewing Him as my treasure. Is it God alone that I view of infinite value, who is my treasure, or is it the blessings that God gives in his grace and goodness? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not wrong to treasure the things God has blessed our life with, because He is a good God and a provider. But what happens when you feel like God is not providing or answering your prayers? In those moments and circumstances, can you have the faith, the trust in who God is, to treasure him not because he is blessing you but because he alone in his eternal attributes is holy and incomparably worthy of glory and praise. While I long to have community and to be on campus at the University of Kentucky, can I trust that God is in control and not only will but is providing what I need? What I have been learning is to take things day by day, and to rejoice and be thankful in having a God who was willing to lay down everything at the cross so I could be in relationship with him, as I was created to be. To value that relationship alone as of infinite value, as my treasure, and when I do that my heart will rest in who God is no matter what my circumstances are. That faith is resting in that relationship with God, and knowing that if my heart is with God then that alone is enough. If it is His will community and other ways of provision will come in His timing, but for now being content just to know and treasure Him.
So please keep me in your prayers, specifically for God to provide community and life-giving relationships. Also pray for his continued provision as I step out in faith with the Ministry Partner Development process. This is one of the hardest things I have ever done so pray for me to have faith that God has me here for a reason. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety about aspects of this so please pray for me to trust in God’s control and sufficiency. I am so thankful to have you on my team and feel blessed for the opportunity to share with you how God is working in my life and through this ministry. Please let me know if there is anything I can be praying for you about and look forward to keeping you updated!
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