faithful doubt

oh sweet friends, i still love reading all your posts about life & the journey.

i had the chance this sunday to go to willow creek northshore with a friend on younglife staff here. it's not my usual home-church, but i'm so grateful that i went because i needed to hear this sermon this week. it was about having a "faithful doubt" and addressed that big question, "is there a place for doubt in the midst of faith?"

shoot. i go through seasons of doubt so regularly, it's almost embarrassing. not always big doubts. but does my doubt - in my future, in my current choices, in my relationships, in my god - nullify my faith? throughout my journey as a christian, i've always wondered about (and frankly, worried a lot about) my doubts. this sunday, alise d barrymore spoke about mark 9:14-27 where the father tells jesus, "i do believe! help me in my unbelief." she proposed that we should "allow doubt to infuse & inform our faith, and allow our faith to correct & clarify our doubt." faith can be present even when doubt is so real. we can't explain every movement of god in our lives, so it's necessary for faith & doubt to coexist. wrestling with these doubts will strengthen our faith as we continue to grow. she concluded by saying that "we must and should act on the faith that we do have and not be so downtrodden by the faith we don't have."

gosh, i am so not eloquent in paraphrasing 30+ minutes of deep, awesome preaching. but holy cow. post-grad life has been so filled by doubts for me. different doubts every day, some big and some so small, but all real. does that mean that i don't trust that god will fully provide for my future? no. does that mean that i'm not excited by what's ahead, even if i'm also filled by fear? absolutely not. i am learning to maintain my faith in the midst of my doubt. it's a journey, but at least it's still moving.

cool sermon. check it out on the church's website, if you're interested. or read mallory's more eloquent post about it on her blog :)

get psyched for a photo-filled, update-y post in about nine days or so...aka the amount of days until camp is over!!